Eventually Dead is the card for anyone who needs a little sarcastic reassurance. The front says “Everything is going to be OK” like a well-meaning lie, and the inside delivers the truth: you’re eventually dead. It’s the perfect card for birthdays, burnout, or just checking in with someone who’s overdue for a laugh and a reality check. Comforting? Barely. Funny? Absolutely.
Includes a bright white envelope so you can mail it, gift it, or casually toss it into a pile and still look like you planned ahead.
